I'm Not Quite Sure If I Picked The Right Document
by Queen NekoChan
Summary: Arakawa-sensei decides to see what kind of horrible pairings people make up. As in, she tries to see how everybody looks at FMA and all the romance, imaginary or not. Numbers stated in story are definitely not accurate, so don't take it too seriously.
1. Bliza, a made up pairing

**A/N: I don't really care about RoyEd. Though it can make me very nauseous. One day, I was reading one that was pretty realistic, and I asked myself, "What would Arakawa-sensei say if she read this?" so I decided to write this.**

Hiromu Arakawa sat at her computer, face starting to pale, as she stared at a random RoyEd fic. It was an accident, really; Arakawa-sensei just wanted to see why so many people like imaginary romance between Edward Elric, who is deemed as a defenseless little girl in this certain FanFiction, and Roy Mustang, who is apparently seen as a horny, jealous pedophile by her readers. She sighed in shame and regret, wondering where she went wrong with the famous manga called _FullMetal Alchemist. _Suddenly, a pang of curiosity hit her, right in the stomach (or maybe the brain, considering that's the place where you get ideas), and Arakawa-sensei wondered if there was actually anything else as idiotic as this particular pairing. So she decided to look.

Arakawa-sensei decided to search for random names that randomly popped into her head (because they are, of course, random), categorizing it under the _romance _genre. At first, nothing came to mind. Then, quick as a flash (though I always wonder; a flash of what? Oh well… it seems to be a common saying, so I'll use it. Now where was I? Oh, yes.) Quick as a flash, two names popped up, and Arakawa- sensei paled even more. No, it couldn't be possible… surely her readers wouldn't be as stupid as to write something with _this_ type of romance… But fangirls can be very imaginative, or may be (yes, if you didn't know, there is a difference between maybe and may be) just plain retards, and have to approach with extreme caution at all times, for it is very easy to catch "the virus" (Queen NekoChan has been thinking that she may have been neglecting this caution, and is currently living in fear of holding "the virus"). So just to be sure, she clicked "Riza H." as the first character, and "Black Hayate" as the second. Selecting the "Go" button was a very slow process, for if this pairing was true, then Arakawa-sensei didn't even want to _think_ about how many there might be. Yes, there may only exist one, but what if there were hundreds? Thousands? Maybe even _millions _– no, that was stupid. There was only 30 something thousand _FullMetal Alchemist _FanFiction written, but it was pretty easy to overestimate these things most commonly known as fangirls.

Arakawa-sensei closed her eyes, and clicked the horrid button. Very slowly, she opened them, only to close them to darkness once more. Wanna know why? You really wanna know? Well, I'm not gonna tell you. Nah, just kidding. What Arakawa- sensei saw was absolutely tragic. Just plain tragic. There were hundreds upon hundreds of this particular pairing, and the manga-ka looked again just to make sure. Oh no, it was true! There were precisely 698 stories on this! Oh the horror, pain, misery, mu – wait, no, never mind. She just forgot to categorize it under romance. Arakawa-sensei fixed this, and was very relieved to find that there were only 324 stories. Hey, that's not something to be glad about! Oh the tragedy, pain, misery, horror, etc.! What was even worse was that the first summary said, "Wat hapns wen Blakk Hayte and Rize Hawki fal in lurve nd makk a witle baby mnstr ting? Plse R&R nd no flmng cuzz tis is liek meh frst stry!"

Arakawa-sensei was starting to think that this idea was a very bad one, but her resolve only crumbled a bit. Not all of it was gone. I think. No, there must be a little still there. Otherwise this story wouldn't even _exist_. But Arakawa-sensei needed to rest a bit, for this experience was one of the worst she has had in a very long time.

Join us next time as soon as Hiromu Arakawa recovers and goes to search some more!

**A/N: Just to let you know, I know nothing about Hiromu Arakawa other than she makes some freaking awesome stories. Please keep in mind that I do not own this and Arakawa-sensei probably wouldn't react like this. Review please, even if it's just some snarky comment. If you want to flame, give a reason for flaming. If there was a mistake, let me know so that I won't make another one just like it. *Sigh* I'm bored… **


	2. Edvy

**A/N: I am deeply sorry for the short chapters. It's just weird to ramble on and on about one stupid pairing. If you don't think these pairings are stupid and horrendous, then I suggest you leave right now. Anyway, here's the second chappy:**

After a couple hours of snacking, drawing, and a little prep talk, Hiromu Arakawa decided to go back on FF . Net to see if any other disgusting pairing was out there. The likeliest thing is there was, Arakawa-sensei thought glumly. She thought she made it perfectly clear of all the official pairings, but people still think that maybe all the characters are either gay or lesbian and insisted that they were acting as to not be laughed at by everybody else. Which was just plain stupid.

Arakawa-sensei picked the "romance" category first, thinking back to her last encounter of forgetting to do just that. Pondering for a while, she decided on two characters, albeit turning a bit green while carefully selecting them. Once again, she thought of her last encounter with the pairing known now as "Bliza," a mix of Black and Riza. That was a very unimaginative name for people who can think of something like _that._

Last time, it had been very difficult clicking on the "go" button, and now it was even harder with the knowledge that a pairing such as "Bliza" existed. This was even worse. These two people that she chose were never meant to even be friends. In fact, they were complete enemies. Arakawa-sensei didn't think that these horrible fangirls would write something with this type of romance, but then again, you can never underestimate them. They are one of the most dangerous species on the history of the planet.

As before, Arakawa-sensei tightly shut her eyes and covered them with a hand. With one finger, she clicked the menacing button, hoping to find that her instincts weren't true. Sadly, they were. Hundreds upon hundreds of this pairing flashed on the screen, and Arakawa-sensei had to muffle a terrified scream when she peeked at it. Why would people like _EdxEnvy? _Or, more precisely, Arakawa-sensei thought as she fully opened her eyes, Edvy. It made no sense; they hated each other, they wanted to murder the other, and the best that could become of them was losing the need to kill each other. So how can they change that to romance?

Arakawa-sensei looked at the first summary, relieved to find it actually legible (she briefly thought that the fangirls are very talented; after all, how many people can make computer typing illegible?) It wrote, "Edward Elric was never one to ask. So why is he asking Envy so many personal questions? Edvy." But the next one was very similar. And the next. And the next…

_Fangirls really don't have much imagination, do they? _Arakawa-sensei pondered. It wasn't very surprising, actually; there were so many clichés for _FullMetal Alchemist_ that it was a mystery of how they ever became famous. Arakawa-sensei remembered all the ones with Ed, which mostly included Ed, another male, and an empty hotel room with only one bed for two people…

Join us next time when Arakawa-sensei comes back from the bathroom and regains her sanity!

**A/N: Again, sorry for the really short chapters. Now please press that little button right there… No, not the one on the window with the "X," I mean **_**that **_**one, right over there. You know, the one that says "Review"? Here, I'll attempt to draw an arrow:**

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	3. FatherXEd

**A/N: First of all, I am sorry for this boring chapter. I have a small case of Writer's Block, not so big as to completely prevent me from writing, but enough to prevent me from making a nice and amusing chapter. I swear, once you read this, you will be all like, "WTF IS THIS! WHAT A WASTE OF MY TIME!" (Yes, we do live in a time where abbreviations are more common than actual words. Do you know how many times I heard one of my classmates/girly friends say "lol"?) Anyway, here is the crappy chapter:**

Hiromu Arakawa almost gave up on her quest, but the creepy voice in her head (1) told her to continue. It never gave up on her before – hell, it gifted her with FMA in the first place! – so she decided to oblige.

Once again, the most random people popped into her head. Except they weren't from FMA. How can Mr. Tall and Mr. Tiny go together anyway? Arakawa-sensei pondered for a while, wondering if this pairing from the wonderful Darren Shan Saga is something the fangirls would be able to think of. Sighing after she came to the conclusion of "yes," she thought of two characters from _FullMetal Alchemist_. Two seconds later, Father and Ed popped into her head. Arakawa-sensei groaned and slammed her head into the desk, full of exasperation (is there a word like exasperatfully? Something so you wouldn't have to say "full of exasperation"? Oh well. I guess not.) This would be the only time she ever cursed her imaginative imagination, which, I must say, is full of very colorful words, some I do not even know the meaning of…(2)

She clicked the correct genre, characters, blah, blah, blah, before hesitating to click the go button. Obviously, she eventually pressed it, or else this chapter wouldn't have existed. _Sigh! _Do I really need to tell you this stuff? I am typing with the horrid disease known as Writer's Block, so obviously, this chapter isn't going to be satisfying for you. I just don't wanna leave this hanging for a month.

So, when Arakawa-sensei finally clicked the go button, she almost theoretically fainted. (Extra; How to Theoretically Faint: Place back of hand on forehead in a very dramatic way, put the palm of other hand on chest in a unconvincing way, look up, sigh very, very, dramatically, and finally, gracefully fall on the floor in a crumpled heap of flesh and bone, preferably on your side. That is how you theoretically faint. Join us next time in our _How to _collection: How to Gracefully Have a Heart Attack!) What Arakawa-sensei saw was much, much worse than she could ever imagine – there was no pairing at all. Yep. Zip. Nada. Zero. None. This was bad because she spent hours of her time recuperating, eating, giving prep talks, drawing, and steeling herself for the next pairing that she was completely ready for the next one. As in, she wouldn't have ran away, cried, paled, vomited, anything like that. She just would've been able to get to the next pairing. Now, she didn't have enough food, paper, tissues, or wastebaskets to do that all again and get herself ready.

Join us next time when Arakawa-sensei stops trying to murder people!

**(1) Every Author (yes, that should be capitalized) has a voice in their head. If you wrote something, then you better have it, or I'll always wonder how the hell you managed to write something. Another word for this annoying little voice is "Muse," which bothers me day and night with a bunch of stupid fan fic ideas. Occasionally, it also comes up with ideas meant for FictionPress, which I type down and post on said site. So far, it only gave me "Evan's Revenge," which I, personally, am not that fond of.**

**(2) Why, yes, I am a mind reader, in case you are wondering.**

**A/N: See? Horrible chapter. Told you. Not only does it not have a real pairing, but there's nothing funny about it at all. Except maybe that "How to Theoretically Faint" thing. Follow the instructions and you will probably be able to theoretically faint. Next time I might add the "How to Gracefully Have a Heart Attack" one. Unless nobody thought it was funny, of course. Seriously, I should make these chapters longer. At this rate, the A/Ns will become the actual story… *shivers***

_**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**_

_**ARROW!**_

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	4. Stupid AN thing

**A/N: I'm really sorry, but I have a major case of Writer's Block for this and a few of my other stories, so I can't update until my muse starts to get interested for this again. It just keeps on coming up with tons of new stories that I won't write in fear of making too many ongoing stories (though one of them is a Son of Neptune thing, so keep on the lookout for that). If you have any suggestions, anything at all, please review or PM me if you wanna see any new chapters soon.**

**(P.S I'm putting this same A/N up for some other things of mine, so don't be confused if you see the same thing twice.)**


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